Practicing Indifference

Sometimes I struggle to realize my worth and that stems from growing up being dependent on other people’s opinions. It’s especially if I did something that people who are closest to me liked, I would receive their praise and would always look for their praise. On the same coin, when I did something that my close ones disliked, I would make myself smaller and feel disappointed and disapproving of myself. I’ve since practiced letting go of the expectation to receive praise and using the criticism as fuel to become a better person and it has done wonders for me. However, a remnant of how I was still lingers and haunts me. I could say who doesn’t like to receive praise and dislike criticism, especially coming from your circle. But I think it is more important for me to be indifferent of outcomes. When one thing feels good, another thing not so much. It ends up being like an internal tug-of-war. So best thing for me to do is to question “Is it good? Is it bad? I don’t know” and note that whatever I was thinking before is just coming from my ego. I know who I am and I know what makes me be at my best. The power of indifference makes me realize that my worth is not held by any person’s opinion, action, or inaction towards me, but what my highest self calls for. Nobody’s approval or disapproval is worth more than my own. Whatever happens happens, and I’ll welcome it. 🦁⚖️🦉🧋