Stoicism during a week of ills: Part 2
After all I said in Part 1, I’m going to be honest and say that I fell off my practice quite a bit today. It’s day 1 back at work and things happened that I didn’t anticipate.
I worked 2.5 hours over my break and was looking forward to having an easier first day back. Plus, I was packing up the last of my things to go to out of town for the week. When I began work, I was eating breakfast at the same time until I received a message from my doctor about my infection. She asked me to schedule a telehealth appointment with her since she found something new. I said ok and as I was trying to make the online appointment, the website glitched and I called the office three times until I got someone. This somehow went on for a whole hour, which took an hour away from work. As a result, I felt thrown off and antsy and lost my focus on work.
After the appointment, I was prescribed new meds and had to to go to the pharmacy to pick them up right before my meeting. After noon, I packed up my car, cleaned it since I hadn’t been in there since being COVID-positive, and hurried over to the pharmacy and then my office. When I got to the office, I felt a sort of somber atmosphere, where I learned my colleague was diagnosed with cancer and another colleague lost his mother over their break. This all struck me. I was not the only one who had a rough week, but they both definitely had it worse. This put things into a better perspective for me. What I had over break felt like mosquitoes while what they had going on must have been a ton of bricks. I’m not disregarding my symptoms since I still need to get them treated. But it will be a journey for them, and I wish them nothing but the best. This, rather painfully, reminded me to be grateful for my health. Another reminder to practice Memento Mori… and Premeditatio Malorum (premeditation of evils) for that matter. Because I just never know. We are not entitled to outcomes. We must cease to desire them. And… nothing is meant to be perfect, neither me.
